my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
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Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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