It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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