My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize