Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
