how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
