Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
