If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
