I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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