New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
