Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
