Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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