I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
