Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
