Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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