Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
True strength comes from lack of pants
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil