if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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