Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize