ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
