i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
