tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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