That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
