Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
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They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
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Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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