Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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