I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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