dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
