but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
