Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
