I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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