Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
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