I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
