Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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