its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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