my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
