i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Two words: nipple clamps
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