We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
