If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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