I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
