I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
