i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize