I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize