I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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