You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
