She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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