sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize