there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
