He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
