i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
