Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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