he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
