She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
