It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
