Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
