There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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