call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
