Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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