just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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