My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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