What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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